For over two decades, I kept a part of myself hidden from the world

about the fear of being seen, hiding being my smile, my nickname Elmo and the f*** it moment

Jan 28, 2026

a song I am loving:

For over two decades, I kept a part of myself hidden from the world.

I have always been told that I could write well and string emotions into words when others couldn’t.

For the longest time during my teenage years, I kept a private LiveJournal blog. In there, I wrote about the lowest of my lows and the highest of my highs; all the challenges, heartbreaks, and trials in life have gotten me this far. I wrote poems and prose about love, floating clouds, impermanence, the feeling of being unbelonged, and misunderstood. I was fearful of the world seeing this side of me, this erratic, moody, and melancholic side of Sylvia, who secretly wore her heart on her sleeve. The blog was akin to the immaculately handpicked songs in my private playlist on my first iPod nano (bless those simpler days), which I rarely shared with anyone.

During that time, I also had a nickname, the Elmo girl, mainly because I was known as the girl who would always smile widely without her teeth. Smiling was masking for me. Smiling was self-protection for me.

“You look different when you smile with your teeth.”
”I love when you smile with your teeth— you look beautiful, Sylvia.”

I remember looking at myself in the mirror countless times, wondering when the day would arrive when I would feel comfortable smiling with my teeth.

Comfortable, being in my own skin.

A question I often get asked now is, “How did you end up starting your business?” How did this decision unfold?

The truth was, I did not set out to start a business, nor specifically a soul-led business.

Back in 2019, I was beginning to pull myself up piece by piece from what I can only describe as my second dark night of the soul. It was that year that I delved into topics I intentionally pursued, such as spirituality, self-healing, self-care, and personal growth. I decided to share the tools that supported me and my journey on a public blog, with the sole purpose of inspiring, uplifting, and empowering others.

I just knew I was ready to be seen.

I wanted to be seen because, heck, I literally pulled myself up from an ashes-to-flames moment.

Nothing ahead could be worse than what I had undergone, and here I was still breathing. But it wasn’t just that, I knew there was no going back to the version of me before.

And this version of me today was ready to be seen.

Fast forward 7 years, and Arawme and I have evolved, and here I am in this chapter of my life, running a soul-led business full-time as a Projector mentor and business guide.

Would I ever imagine myself where I was 2 decades ago? No.

Well, I just decided to start healing and stop hiding.

I decided to be the co-creator instead of the victim.

I decided to finally let myself be seen.

Do it for no one but you.

Fearing being seen is an example of a receiver resistance that hinders how we approach Active Waiting as a Projector, and it does not just show up in business; it shows up everywhere in life. They are rooted in the same nervous system imprints, childhood conditioning, and ancestral patterns. They play out in subtle, everyday interactions.

And if you are carrying a similar fear around visibility, judgement and rejection, and/or oscillating within a perpetual cycle of self-doubt, and authenticity,

No, you do not need to go through some dramatic dark night of the soul initiation in your life to finally feel courageous.

No, you do not need the Universe to nudge something catastrophic in your life to finally decide to heal your fear of being seen.

Most of all, you do not have to keep hiding behind this fear any longer.

Below are some self-reflective prompts to support you in your contemplation today:

What are you currently resisting in your life?
Where are you currently holding yourself back?
How has my fear of being seen protected me in the past?
What would my younger self be afraid might happen if I were fully visible?
Where do I feel the fear of being seen in my body?
What stories do I carry about who is allowed to be seen and who is not?
What sensations arise when I imagine sharing my voice, work, or truth publicly?
What version of myself do I believe others will see when I step forward?
In what ways have I confused being visible with needing to be liked?
What would change if I believed my visibility did not require approval?
What am I afraid people will project onto me?

Do it for yourself, do it for your higher self, and the younger you.

The higher self, because they know that your potential exists when you cross over this discomfort.

The younger you, because they had their authenticity stripped from them from a young age, where staying small, dimming their own light, fitting into the mold, staying passive, and keeping to themselves were encouraged and prioritized—and it is time to end this old programming.

Do it because it is fun. Do it simply for the joy of it.

Do it because this one deafening fear may just be the key to what is holding you back from the opportunities, synchronicities, connections, and soul-aligned individuals that are meant for you.

Do it not because the fear is loud.

Do it because the fear of remaining the same and the recurring thought of what-ifs are louder.

The truth is, the discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of security. And the healing work of growth isn’t the path of least resistance, but a path of choice and consciousness.

So one may ask, how do I get over my fear of being seen?

You begin by acknowledging your fears, sitting with your fragments, and getting curious with your woundings and borrowed conditionings.

You begin by healing yourself courageously and stop hiding behind your pain.

You begin by speaking to yourself differently today.

You begin by prioritizing your energetic mastery; dispensing your energy more intentionally, and getting clear who has access to you.

You begin by surrounding yourself with people who make you feel seen and recognized already, and stop shrinking yourself in places with those who make you feel otherwise.

You begin by taking baby steps.

You begin by learning to take up space all over again.

You begin by choosing to be the co-creator of your reality rather than the victim of your circumstances today.

Being visible means recognizing ourselves authentically, including the parts that feel imperfect, flawed, inconsistent, fragmented, and vulnerable and yet, still show up wholeheartedly as we are.

Being visible does not mean befriending fear right away.

Being visible means choosing love and managing your perceived fear simultaneously.

May we all feel seen together.

Healing my fear of being seen is still something I am working on to this day.

And every time I intentionally neutralize this fear, no matter how minuscule it may seem, I am expanding my capacity to align with the version of myself who can hold it all.

I teach about visibility energetics in the Projector Active Waiting Course, my 1:1s, and group containers. We begin my signature group container (TPR) again this September, during the Fall Equinox!

explore TPR

Alternatively, if you are seeking deeply focused insights, support, and differentiated guidance that is substantial and paced for a Projector, my bespoke 1:1 Projector mentorship Shui, may be for you. I only work privately with a few Projectors during each quarter of the year.